What a Big Girl Wants…

On behalf of big girls everywhere, I’m here to tell society to “Shut the fuck up!”


We big girls are here to say, you’re done shaming us. We’re gonna be big, beautiful and happy. We’re not stealing your quinoa or your tiny portions of poached fish and steamed veggies. And our big boobs and big butts, our sexy round tummies and plush thighs are no threat to you … or maybe they are. Too fucking bad! The men and women who find us sexy don’t look at you, so move on and find someone else to shower with your hatred and scorn; we are done accepting it. We are living our lives knowing that we are just fine the way we are, and we have better things to do with our time than worry what YOU think about us.


I’m not sure when it happened, but somewhere in the history of the world, people decided that being fat was the worst thing ever. Fat girls are one of the world’s only acceptable targets for shame and ridicule. Why? Because we can lose weight, society says; it’s so easy! Yeah, right! Being a big, curvy woman my entire life, I used to be told that I could be so beautiful … if only I lost the weight. I fell for that shit and tried. The self-abuse I put myself through was excruciating, and I nearly died on my quest to be thin. Somewhere along the way, I discovered that it was NOT worth it. I wasn’t happy thinner; I was miserable and my days and nights were spent agonizing over stupid numbers on a scale and size tags.


We big girls want what every other girl wants – to be happy, have a great job, friends, love, great clothes, fun. And I wanted to be able to look into a mirror and smile at what we see. Unfortunately, not every big girl realizes that she can have any of that, let alone all of it. We are told every day of our lives that we are less than, despite technically being “more than.” The truth is, we can have ALL these things and so much more, once we realize that we’re beautiful whether we’re a size eight or 18. Love and happiness are the most important things in life; but until we’re able to love ourselves as we are, happiness will elude us. Until we accept ourselves, we won’t believe that someone else truly loves us … and we can drive people away because of this.


These days, I’m proud to say I’m “fat and happy.” I am 46 years old, 5’7, and I wear a size 18. I have three sons and a very sexy husband who loves me because of (not in spite of) my big, beautiful body. I know this both from his loving words as well as his lustful actions. He can’t keep his eyes and hands off my body, nor am I able to resist his. And my fellow big girls will be happy to know that there are many more men out there just like him, men who yearn for everything from “a few extra pounds” to “pleasantly plump” and even more!


This blog is dedicated to my fellow big girls. It’s here to help you see your value, to accept yourselves as you are and be happy. The first step is to stop beating yourself up. Stop listening to everyone tell you that you MUST be thin. Once you accept yourself and see yourself as you truly are, then and only then will you believe that others see you that way too.


And they will!






6 thoughts on “What a Big Girl Wants…

  1. Man I’d love to be a size 18. Maybe it’s just me but it’s hard to feel sexy at a size 28 especially when your husband won’t touch you. How can I learn to love myself when the one who says he loves me only confirms all the bad things I think about myself by ignoring me sexually?

    • Sweetheart you are a beautiful and sexy chick. It seems like your biggest problem is that you doubt yourself. Size is just a number, sexy is attitude. Do not allow yourself to see your worth based on your assumptions of someone’s opinion.

      Did your man fall in love and marry a size 18? No, he fell for you. What’s changed within you?

      There are a million men that would give up their right arm to be with a woman like you. If your man has lost interest, it’s not your face or body’s fault. Something changed between the two of you and you need to figure out what it is. If he swears he loves you but won’t show you…that’s on him. He needs to man up and tell you why. These issues are rarely physical, they are usually emotional. Sign up for Mort Fertel’s newsletter and follow his advice…I hope this helps you. http://www.marriagemax.com/

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