How Do You Handle Disappointment?

Dear Queen,

What do you do when you try to be sexy but your man is not in the mood? It’s so disappointing and it makes me want to wither up and just die of shame.It makes me scared to try and be forward again.  My husband was in a rotten mood and just wasn’t really responding. He tried a little, I’ll give him that but mostly not. I felt awkward trying to seduce him with flirting and sexy emails and worse when he just basically rejected me. I was so hopeful but now I’m just crushed.

We’ve all been there, trust me, and it is a very crushing feeling. Rejection, indifference or even a lackluster response can make even the sturdiest ego waver for a bit. Allow yourself some healing time, there is nothing wrong with what you’re feeling, it’s normal. Don’t have sex when you feel this way, take a bit of time to let your wounded ego heal. Why? Because the sex won’t be good for you, if you have rejection in your head. You need to clear that out. Fake cramps if you must but don’t have sex while you feel bad about yourself.

You said he was in a rotten mood, unless he was upset with you, I wouldn’t take the rejection too hard. I know…easier said than done. When you’re hurting you won’t see anything rationally but in a day or so you will and you’ll realize that his mood was the problem; not YOU and not your attempts to seduce him. It was just bad timing. I want you to look in the mirror and say this mantra 20 times every single time you use the bathroom:

I am a sexy, unstoppable Goddess. my man is thoroughly seduced.

In a few days, I want you to try again. You know that old saying about getting back on the horse? Well, saddle up and try again. Make sure you ask him how he’s feeling and how his day has been going. Get a solid read on his mood before you start flirting. If he’s fine, then go for it. If not, pick another day or wait and try later if things improve with him. Don’t give up on him or yourself. Let your inner Goddess out and you will not regret it.


I hope this helps.

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