Going “Downtown”! The Big Girl’s Guide To Oral Sex

Yes…Oh God, yes!!!! Who does not like oral sex? If you are reading this and thinking “I don’t”, my question would be why the heck not? Seriously, Big Girls, having your partner spend some quality time in your lady bits with his tongue and fingers can be heaven, if they know what they’re doing. You need to allow yourself to enjoy it and that isn’t always easy, especially for a Big Girl. On the other hand, maybe they don’t know what they’re about down there…what then? That’s what I’m covering today… two topics in the area of going downtown. How to both enjoy oral and what to do if they don’t know how to get you off.

How can I sit back or lay back and enjoy a trip downtown?

When you can’t relax and enjoy sex be it oral or otherwise, it’s usually because of some hang ups. What hang ups can a Big Girl have when it comes to oral?

Being on display:

Spread out and naked can make a Big Girl with some confidence issues really uncomfortable. Two things to keep in mind when a man wants to do this is that HE WANTS TO DO THIS TO YOU. That means: you turn him on and more specifically YOUR BODY TURNS HIM ON. He wants to look, he wants to taste and he wants to please you.  Say that to yourself a few times and get used to the idea. Men are very visual and if a man has chosen a Big Girl, it’s because he is attracted to her body. Let him look, touch and taste it. There is no better feeling in the world than having your partner show you how sexy you are to them. Let him!


Every human on the planet has a unique scent and that includes your lady bits. It’s a natural pheromone and unless there is something wrong or you haven’t bathed, it’s a good thing.  If your man wants to go downtown and you are not just stepping out of a shower, then take a moment to freshen up a bit. Sweat and bodily functions can give your natural scent an unwanted kick, you do not want your lover to get a nose full of that. Grab some baby wipes or female fresh wipes and give yourself a quick swipe. If you have an infection or you smell fishy…no go. Take care of your health, keep that vag squeaky clean and it’s a go.

You just can’t cum that way:

Unless there is something really wrong and I mean structurally non-functional and you just don’t ever orgasm, even when masturbating… you can cum that way.  If you have never done so, there are likely two causes. The first being something I mentioned above was in your head and you couldn’t relax and simply enjoy the act. You should have nothing in your head besides the moment and what you are feeling. Negative thoughts will freeze you and prevent you from enjoying sex, in general. The other is my next topic, so keep reading. 😉

What can I do if he doesn’t know how to eat my pussy?

Teach him. You’ve got all your demons under control and you want him to give you oral. He does and nothing, nada, nyet. He can’t seem to find your clit any better than Mr. Magoo in the dark. Now what? You don’t want to hurt his feelings, so you say nothing and maybe even give him a sympathy moan.


The whole reason his face is down there lapping up your snatch is because he wants to please you, make you cum and get you ready for his entry. Or he wants you to reciprocate. Either way you are doing both yourself and him a disservice by not helping him out. You can do it two ways, first you can verbally call out directions. That can be hot, dirty talk and really enhance the experience as well as helping him, help you, cum like a geyser. Example: Lower baby, higher, yes, there, don’t stop, harder, put two fingers inside me, faster, etc. You get the picture.  The other way is to move your ass where you need it to be. Literally grind yourself on his face. Is he just a pinch too low, tilt your pelvis so your clit hits his tongue and then grab his head and hold him there.  Gently use your thighs and knees to keep him in place and then move your pelvis up or down as needed. You’ll be moaning for real in no time flat and he will get harder than Stonehenge by your responses to his efforts.

So, that’s it for now. Next I’ll tell you how to suck the chrome off his hood like a pro. I mean, sex is a two way street and if you want him to pleasure your bits with oral, you should always try and return the favor. 😉




What do you do if he doesn’t want to go there? Ask him why. It is either because he’s not sure what to do or your pussy looks like a jungle. If he won’t give you a direct answer, it’s likely that the unkempt nature of your nether region is putting him off. Rare since most of us trim the trim but if you are going natural, you may want to invest in a bikini wax or a good razor and landscape that area. It’s not sexy to gag on hair, don’t waste an opportunity by not keeping things tidy. 😉


8 thoughts on “Going “Downtown”! The Big Girl’s Guide To Oral Sex

  1. Dear Queen: I’ve never heard of a woman saying should COULDN’T cum that way, but I have been told by one in particular that “downtown” was the ONLY way she could. I was like, “Okay, fine” and dove down there to do the need only to find myself on the Ho Chi Minh trail through the jungles of Vietnam. I’m thinking, if that’s the ONLY way, and she WANTED me to go downtown, the least she could’ve done was send out the streetsweeper beforehand.

  2. I do like an article on the joys of cunnilingus. I’ll stick my two cents in because I am a knee-jerk know-it-all.
    First, I can’t agree that every woman who can come, can come with orall stimulation. I am 53 and, by virtue of many years of antidepressant medication and the densensitization that comes with age (sadly), it takes some pretty fierce and sustained clitoral pressure to make me come. So … if the guy doesn’t mind me grinding his head into the mattress as I use his face for a pressure point, sure, I can come from oral. Otherwise, I find it a really enchanting way to warm up and get giddy.
    Second – about that shag carpeting! My current lover prohibits me from even trimming my bush (as did my previous one). He is a younger guy with old school preferences. On occasion, I sneak in a trim because I prefer it, but for the most part I concede to his wishes. He’s the one who’s doing the looking and licking, after all.
    I think the most important point to all of this is good communication makes for good sex. Exploring each others’ desires and preferences verbally (or in print) is one of the best kinds of foreplay I know. Plus, it establishes and measures trust in a relationship.

  3. Pingback: Don’t Get Stuck On An Adjective… | The Big Girl's Guide

  4. Pingback: The Big Girl’s Guide to Orgasms… | The Big Girl's Guide

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