Tag Archive | abuse

What Do You Do When People Try To Take Advantage Of You?

Depends on the person and the situation. Ultimately, when someone tries to take advantage of you, it’s not a good thing. The best thing you can do for yourself is extract yourself from the situation. It’s not healthy to let someone walk all over you. You deserve better than being used and abused. There are many forms of being abused, some are mild and some are vicious but most abuse is someplace in between. Doesn’t really matter, in the end it’s still abuse.

How do you know you’re being used or someone is attempting to use you? First red flag is that you start asking yourself if your being used/abused. If you’re wondering, it’s either likely occurring or it’s about to start. Second red flag, you feel bad because someone wants you to do something you’re not comfortable with and they still pressure you after expressing concerns. Third red flag, you are doing things that you know are WRONG but you can’t say no or you’re afraid to say no because you will be punished either financially, emotionally, physically or all three. Last, you say no, you put a stop to it all  and what happens? They hurt you and they continue trying to bring you to your knees until you either cut them out completely or you bend and give them what they want.

Someone who is trying to use and abuse you will not walk away from you until they bled you dry. If you’re still useful, they will keep on hurting you. You really have only one choice, one real option…do you know what it is?




Can you do that? Can you walk away? If it’s a lover or a spouse, it can be easy, but what if you have children? If it’s your employer, you need to find a job and then walk away…but what if the economy is in a shambles?  What if the person is FAMILY?  What do you do if it’s a family member and nobody else in your family sees what you see? Do you cut out everyone? Do you try and make the others see what is happening? Do you just suck it up and pretend things are fine?

What can you do? It’s like I said earlier in this piece, it depends on the person and the situation. What you should do and what you can do are often very different things, unfortunately. One of the biggest obstacles you will face is trying to make others see what the situation really is and even if you succeed, most people won’t agree with your solution. Here’s what you’ll hear from the sane people in your life:

  1. You’re overreacting.
  2. They’re family, you must love them.
  3. They need your help.
  4. This is how life is.
  5. He/she is your boss and that’s how bosses are!
  6. Be the better person.
  7. If you walk away, you’ll lose us all!!!
  8. I don’t see it.
  9. Are you sure that’s really happening?
  10. You need to forgive and forget.


It’s easier for others to tell you that you need to eat a shit sandwich because they AREN’T eating it. That’s usually the way of it. People will tell you to get over/accept things that they themselves would NOT ever find acceptable. Because of that, my advice to you is going to be to not worry or care what other people say or think. Don’t waste your time asking others. If you’re being used/abused/hurt then you do whatever you can to extract yourself from the situation.

You deserve to be happy just as much as everyone else. You should stop putting you and your needs last and do whatever you can to have a good and happy life.

Remove toxic people like you would remove all other toxins…fully and completely.





My Newest Obsessions

I’ve blogged on and off since 2002 under the same moniker, about politics and other nonsense. One thing I rarely did then and have not until this day done here is recommend other bloggers that I think are amazing.  Today I’m changing that and I’m going to talk about two of them.

My husband J.P.  Ribner’s blog, Trauma Central, is incredible. I highly recommend reading it if you’re interested in bullying and parental narcissism and how to survive and recover from those experiences. He writes about his memories and accounts in disturbing detail. The things that he suffered as a young child and into his adulthood are almost unbelievable … almost. Unfortunately, as his wife, I know they are true and as God is my witness, I’ve often wished for a time machine so I could go back and save him from that truth.  It’s both painful and inspiring. As a published author of the books Legacy of the Bear, Prophecy of the Bear and World So Dark, J.P knows how to tell a story, he draws you in and makes you see what his life was like as if you were watching it on the big screen. This is what writing should be, but often isn’t.

The other blog I’m obsessed with is Confessions of Amie.

“Amie” is both inspiring and heroic to me. She has lived a life that would have broken others to the point of no return and no recovery. Her writing is raw, painful, erotic, honest, and a bit humorous … more than a bit, actually.  That she can still laugh and see humor in things makes her a true heroine to me.  Her tales of life in the adult film industry do contain a lot of adult themes, so if erotica or mature content give you the vapors, then don’t go there; but if they do, why are you reading me? 😉

I was gonna try and write something geared to my Big Girls, but today I thought, why not send my Big Girls over to Trauma Central and Confessions of Amie instead. It’s sometimes useful to know that all of us have baggage, all of us have damage, and even if the baggage is different, the way we cope is almost the same. So start at the bottom and work your way up; I think you will not be disappointed in my obsessions. ❤


Have a great rest of your Sunday!