Tag Archive | flirting

How Do You Handle Disappointment?

Dear Queen,

What do you do when you try to be sexy but your man is not in the mood? It’s so disappointing and it makes me want to wither up and just die of shame.It makes me scared to try and be forward again.  My husband was in a rotten mood and just wasn’t really responding. He tried a little, I’ll give him that but mostly not. I felt awkward trying to seduce him with flirting and sexy emails and worse when he just basically rejected me. I was so hopeful but now I’m just crushed.

We’ve all been there, trust me, and it is a very crushing feeling. Rejection, indifference or even a lackluster response can make even the sturdiest ego waver for a bit. Allow yourself some healing time, there is nothing wrong with what you’re feeling, it’s normal. Don’t have sex when you feel this way, take a bit of time to let your wounded ego heal. Why? Because the sex won’t be good for you, if you have rejection in your head. You need to clear that out. Fake cramps if you must but don’t have sex while you feel bad about yourself.

You said he was in a rotten mood, unless he was upset with you, I wouldn’t take the rejection too hard. I know…easier said than done. When you’re hurting you won’t see anything rationally but in a day or so you will and you’ll realize that his mood was the problem; not YOU and not your attempts to seduce him. It was just bad timing. I want you to look in the mirror and say this mantra 20 times every single time you use the bathroom:

I am a sexy, unstoppable Goddess. my man is thoroughly seduced.

In a few days, I want you to try again. You know that old saying about getting back on the horse? Well, saddle up and try again. Make sure you ask him how he’s feeling and how his day has been going. Get a solid read on his mood before you start flirting. If he’s fine, then go for it. If not, pick another day or wait and try later if things improve with him. Don’t give up on him or yourself. Let your inner Goddess out and you will not regret it.


I hope this helps.

You Know What I Like?

Impromptu and dangerous sex.  Not dangerous like scary and life risking but more dangerous like if I scream too loud…we’ll get caught. I love that! It adds a bit of excitement to an already exciting endeavor. Honest to goodness though, nothing feels better than putting yourself in a situation that you know is going to lead you to orgasms. Some of you are thinking, “I’m in a relationship already so how can I create impromptu and or thrilling/dangerous sex?”

The answer: Very, very easy. There are different approaches when you are married or in a long term relationship and you have children versus not. I have 3 children, so the “danger” aspect is higher when your kids are awake. You can still do it and YOU SHOULD. Personally, whether they are awake or asleep, if I’m horny, I’m going for it and I’m pretty much always horny. LOL

What do you do? Two words: Social Media. Thanks Facebook for giving me a way to be illicit and dirty in broad daylight.  And ladies, I do mean dirty. Even if you’re shy, you can still do this. It’s much easier to type words than it is to actually say them. So, if your man uses FB, like mine does, then start IM’ing him sexy thoughts or ideas that you want to do to him or what you’d like him to do to you. If he’s not a FB person, send him a raunchy text right there from your living room, dining room or kitchen. It matters not where you are or where he is…you are priming him and yourself for an impromptu romp. Get as dirty as you want and if you are just not comfortable with being explicit, that’s okay. You can still say sexy things or make very innocent comments sound dirty. Depending on the personality of your partner, you will figure out quickly how far you can push it. I promise you, that nothing will make a man hard, quicker, than being told that you want him.

Again, if you are unsure then start slow and let his response guide you to see how far you can go.  Here are some things you could say:

  • God…you’re hot
  • I want you to mess up my hair
  • You make me wet
  • I’m not wearing panties
  • Are you hungry? I’ve got something you can eat…
  • I’m bad girl…wanna make me a very bad girl? 😉
  • I want to taste you

Those are very mild and a good way to start. It won’t take long before you are on your back getting his answers to your thoughts. Just make sure before you start, your kids are fed and content because you won’t want to be interrupted when you sneak away to take care that erection you just created.

I, personally, say much dirtier stuff to my husband…but that’s how we roll. If you’re curious, I just sent him a text at work that read: “I want to feel your big, fat cock inside me.” He’ll be getting texts like that periodically all day…wanna guess who is going to be getting laid as soon as her husband comes home from work, before dinner? Yeah, this girl!  😉

All of these same things can be done in hushed whispers, if you don’t have access to a phone or social media. Walk up to your man, lean in and whisper in his ear something sexy and then flick your tongue over his earlobe and run your hand slowly down his chest. Then just walk away…to your bedroom.

One other thing you can try is a direct assault on his senses. Is he reading, sitting in front of a computer or watching television? Walk up to him and sit on his lap, straddle him face to face and run your tongue over his lips and caress his package . He’ll take it from there.

Always remember, there is NOTHING sexier than self confidence and a bit of dirty talk. You watch how much your confidence soars when you show your man exactly how much you want him.


Happy Monday!