Tag Archive | fucking

Going “Downtown”! The Big Girl’s Guide To Oral Sex

Yes…Oh God, yes!!!! Who does not like oral sex? If you are reading this and thinking “I don’t”, my question would be why the heck not? Seriously, Big Girls, having your partner spend some quality time in your lady bits with his tongue and fingers can be heaven, if they know what they’re doing. You need to allow yourself to enjoy it and that isn’t always easy, especially for a Big Girl. On the other hand, maybe they don’t know what they’re about down there…what then? That’s what I’m covering today… two topics in the area of going downtown. How to both enjoy oral and what to do if they don’t know how to get you off.

How can I sit back or lay back and enjoy a trip downtown?

When you can’t relax and enjoy sex be it oral or otherwise, it’s usually because of some hang ups. What hang ups can a Big Girl have when it comes to oral?

Being on display:

Spread out and naked can make a Big Girl with some confidence issues really uncomfortable. Two things to keep in mind when a man wants to do this is that HE WANTS TO DO THIS TO YOU. That means: you turn him on and more specifically YOUR BODY TURNS HIM ON. He wants to look, he wants to taste and he wants to please you.  Say that to yourself a few times and get used to the idea. Men are very visual and if a man has chosen a Big Girl, it’s because he is attracted to her body. Let him look, touch and taste it. There is no better feeling in the world than having your partner show you how sexy you are to them. Let him!

Smell:

Every human on the planet has a unique scent and that includes your lady bits. It’s a natural pheromone and unless there is something wrong or you haven’t bathed, it’s a good thing.  If your man wants to go downtown and you are not just stepping out of a shower, then take a moment to freshen up a bit. Sweat and bodily functions can give your natural scent an unwanted kick, you do not want your lover to get a nose full of that. Grab some baby wipes or female fresh wipes and give yourself a quick swipe. If you have an infection or you smell fishy…no go. Take care of your health, keep that vag squeaky clean and it’s a go.

You just can’t cum that way:

Unless there is something really wrong and I mean structurally non-functional and you just don’t ever orgasm, even when masturbating… you can cum that way.  If you have never done so, there are likely two causes. The first being something I mentioned above was in your head and you couldn’t relax and simply enjoy the act. You should have nothing in your head besides the moment and what you are feeling. Negative thoughts will freeze you and prevent you from enjoying sex, in general. The other is my next topic, so keep reading. 😉

What can I do if he doesn’t know how to eat my pussy?

Teach him. You’ve got all your demons under control and you want him to give you oral. He does and nothing, nada, nyet. He can’t seem to find your clit any better than Mr. Magoo in the dark. Now what? You don’t want to hurt his feelings, so you say nothing and maybe even give him a sympathy moan.

DON’T DO THAT!

The whole reason his face is down there lapping up your snatch is because he wants to please you, make you cum and get you ready for his entry. Or he wants you to reciprocate. Either way you are doing both yourself and him a disservice by not helping him out. You can do it two ways, first you can verbally call out directions. That can be hot, dirty talk and really enhance the experience as well as helping him, help you, cum like a geyser. Example: Lower baby, higher, yes, there, don’t stop, harder, put two fingers inside me, faster, etc. You get the picture.  The other way is to move your ass where you need it to be. Literally grind yourself on his face. Is he just a pinch too low, tilt your pelvis so your clit hits his tongue and then grab his head and hold him there.  Gently use your thighs and knees to keep him in place and then move your pelvis up or down as needed. You’ll be moaning for real in no time flat and he will get harder than Stonehenge by your responses to his efforts.

So, that’s it for now. Next I’ll tell you how to suck the chrome off his hood like a pro. I mean, sex is a two way street and if you want him to pleasure your bits with oral, you should always try and return the favor. 😉

 

 

Update:

What do you do if he doesn’t want to go there? Ask him why. It is either because he’s not sure what to do or your pussy looks like a jungle. If he won’t give you a direct answer, it’s likely that the unkempt nature of your nether region is putting him off. Rare since most of us trim the trim but if you are going natural, you may want to invest in a bikini wax or a good razor and landscape that area. It’s not sexy to gag on hair, don’t waste an opportunity by not keeping things tidy. 😉

 

Sexy Idea…New Twist

Some of you Big Girls are reading my posts and thinking, “yeah, whatever Queen that shit won’t work for me because…(fill in your low self esteem belief/excuse here)”. Yeah, I know, I was there.  That’s why I am writing this blog.

I WAS YOU. Lacking self confidence can be positively crippling both emotionally and physically, Physically? How so? Easily, if you’re NOT right in your head, you will not enjoy sex; you can and likely do inhibit your ability to orgasm.

All great sex, for women, starts in the mind and works its way down through your body. Got that? If you don’t believe you’re sexy, you won’t believe your mate when they tell you or show you how sexy you are…don’t waste your opportunity. Enjoy every moment, stop telling yourself you can’t cum unless…just be in the moment and feel it.

I’m giving you ideas to help build your self confidence, some of them will make you balk. I know, trust me, I know. Most people assume that self confidence is what allows you to step up your sexy game to the next level.  Like the old question about what came first the chicken or the egg…most of the time stepping up your sexy is what leads you to building your self confidence. It’s a leap of faith.. You may not succeed your first time out but NEVER stop trying, if you don’t jump, you cannot fly. Once you start flying, the confidence starts rising till you’re soaring.

That said, now let me share with you an idea that will help you get lift off. Boudoir photos. I’m not suggesting you go to a place and pay to get pictures done. Nope, nada and nyet!

Step 1: Dig out or purchase some sexy lingerie

Step 2: Fix up your hair, put on your make up and wear your hottest outfit.

Step 3. Walk over to your spouse/SO, smile, say nothing and hand them a camera/cell phone or Ipad

Step 4. Crook your finger and walk to the bedroom.

Step 5. Start posing and in the process start removing your lingerie

Step 6. Let them take a few nude shots, unless they couldn’t hold out

Step 7. Fuck their brains out or let them fuck your brain out.

Most important thing I want you to do is SAY NOTHING with your mouth before Step 7.  We can effectively kill a mood with negativity.  Don’t ruin the momentum you’re creating by telling yourself or your mate that you look fat/feel fat or whatever. Speak with your eyes and your body; fake it till you make if you must but keep that trap shut!!! LOL

Even if your relationship isn’t in the greatest place, this will work wonders for both you and your relationship.

 

 

Sex..Yes, Please!

I have a confession to make. I am a big girl and I love sex. There I said it. I’m owning my shit right there. Depending on my mood, I refer to sex in a myriad of ways.  When I’m feeling woo woo, lovey and romantic, I want to make love. When I’m feeling dirty and horny, I want to be fucked…hard.  When regaling my husband’s prowess to girlfriends, I’ll say bang…so they won’t get the fucking vapors because I mentioned S-E-X.

Whatever you call it, I fucking like it, huge fan of getting some and I highly recommend getting it…OFTEN. It’s a great stress reducer, it’s exercise, it’s fun, great self-esteem builder and it’s a great way to bond with your spouse or whomever.

There is something you need to know, sometimes guys want you to initiate sex. Yeah…initiate. That’s a tough one for many women and even tougher if you’re a big girl. Fear of rejection and all that. It happens and it’s tough to bounce back from and I’m no different.  Fear of rejection can cripple you but guys have that fear too. Men have little choice when it comes to facing that fear because we kinda expect them to initiate. I say that someone has to bite the bullet and fuck it, it should be the guy because we have tits and they like tits. 😉

We big girls have much to overcome and many of those things seem like mountains, sex initiation is not a mountain. It’s a molehill. Take the first step to climbing that molehill by using technology.  Email, texting or IM’s are really easy baby steps toward being a sexually assertive woman. Send your man a dirty message or three. You let him know you’re game and game now…and you’ll be on your back or your knees in a NY minute!

Give it a try, you will not be disappointed. 😉

Happy Sunday!