Tag Archive | orgasm

Sex Mistakes Men Make: The End

sex-education_2433736bSex usually ends with an orgasm or it should. So, what mistake do men make in the area of orgasm? For most men the big mistake here is that they expect intercourse to give her an orgasm and if it doesn’t – they assume that something is wrong with her – either physically or emotionally.

Here are the facts, only 25% of women are consistently orgasmic during vaginal intercourse. Did everyone read that? ONLY 25%, why is this important? The answer is from the linked article:

* It’s perfectly normal for women not to have orgasms during intercourse. Most women need direct clitoral stimulation to experience orgasm. They don’t get it during intercourse because the clitoris is located outside the vagina and a few inches above it under the top junction of the vaginal lips. Intercourse simply does not provide enough direct clitoral stimulation to allow most women to become aroused enough to have orgasms. “Intercourse is okay,” says New York City sex educator Betty Dodson, Ph.D. “But I much prefer a talented tongue on my clitoris.”

* Penis size doesn’t matter to most women’s sexual satisfaction. If only 25 percent of women are consistently orgasmic during intercourse, then for most women, penis size doesn’t matter. The fact is, any size penis can provide great pleasure to the man it’s attached to. But they key to most women’s erotic pleasure comes not from the penis and intercourse, but from direct clitoral stimulation, using the fingers, palm, tongue, or sex toys.

What we just learned is that about 75% of women need clitoral stimulation to achieve an orgasm consistently and this begs a big question:

Why don’t all men just include clitoral stimulation in their repertoire?

And this is where the mistake I mentioned comes into play.

Many men just think that there is something wrong with a woman who can’t cum from his amazing cock. It’s an ego thing and because of that – they don’t feel that they should put in the extra effort. Some men are fooled by the excellent acting skills of their lover as she fakes a Meg Ryan style orgasm, as long as she’s wet they are a believer!!!

Take your time, extend foreplay, get her to orgasm or near orgasm before you enter and you will exponentially increase the odds that she will cum once you are inside her. A great way to do it is to take her from behind and while you are happily thrusting away, reach around and play with her clitoris. Another no-brainer is to eat that pussy and eat it well. The key here is to make sure you don’t enter to soon.

Here’s the bottom line, you don’t ONLY have to eat her out to make her cum, if that’s your fear. Some men just don’t like to do it and some don’t like to do it with just anyone, preferring that type of intimacy to happen when in an exclusive relationship. If that’s the case, use your hand,  use a toy…get creative but don’t make the biggest sex mistake there is and finish a lovely expression of love or hot crazed sex with a flop ending. MAKE HER CUM!!!!!!!

 

 

The Big Girl’s Guide to Orgasms…

bibir-seksiEverybody wants one, not everyone knows how to get/give one. Why is it so complicated? Because despite the fact that we see sex EVERYWHERE, we are still a fairly repressed society. We see sex on magazines, television, billboards but mention it in company and it’s done in hushed whispers. Pssssst, because we still think it’s dirty.

My feeling on this is: sex is dirty… if you’re lucky enough to have a good partner. I love dirty sex. Dirty sex means I’m getting off and getting off good.  If I only cum once…it’s almost disappointing. I’m a real whore when it comes to getting off and you should be too.

We only live once, you know…

I’m going to recap what you need to know about women and orgasms. I covered this in my post on masturbation .

There are 4 types of orgasms a woman can have…yes, FOUR!! And Feminists didn’t do shit to get them for us. 😉

  • Clitoral orgasms – the clitoris has 8000 nerve endings so with the right amount of pressure and effort, you can blow your lid pretty quickly just by stimulating that tiny little button (or in some cases a turkey neck).
  • Vaginal orgasms – some people believe in a G-spot others don’t. To achieve an orgasm this way takes longer, so the longer you are being penetrated and thrust into the more likely you will achieve the Big O. Making sure you are lubed up or wet enough is a must. Tilting your pelvis helps to reach the sweet spot. It’s trial and error but oh so worth it when you get there.
  • Blended orgasms – these occur when you are stimulating both the clit and the vagina. This is the MOST powerful orgasm and when you get one of these, you’ll likely not be able to walk right away from all that leg shaking.
  • Multiple orgasms – these happen one after the other pretty quickly. Not everyone can withstand the constant stimulation but those who can…holy shit!!

So, how do you achieve them? Before you can get your partner to help you cum, you need to be able to cum on your own. So…masturbate. Masturbate a lot. If you don’t know how to do it then read my tips on masturbation here. One of the easiest ways to achieve orgasm is through oral sex but you should be willing to give as well as receive, even if it’s not required. Also, keep a nice pretty pussy. Don’t ask someone to put their face and mouth in an unkempt, smelly jungle. Read my guide to going “Downtown” and enjoy what happens next.

Should You Fake It?

Don’t get in the habit of faking orgasms. What’s the point? Your partner wants to make you cum, if you fake it – you’ve cheated them and yourself. I get not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings. I don’t want to hurt anyone either, so I try hard to not be a cunt. (I sometimes fail…LOL) If you fake it too much, you guarantee one thing…shitty sex.

Sometimes you simply have to say, “Baby, I love you but I think you’re gonna need to eat my pussy before you fuck me”.  It will make orgasms via penetration much easier, if you’ve already cum once or are on the verge of it.

If you can’t say that, then say instead: “Let’s 69!!!” That’s sexy and it’s only 2 words!!!

Don’t fear losing control and don’t spend too much time thinking about your orgasm. Be in the moment. The minute you start worrying that you may not cum, you won’t. Turn your brain off, and let your body turn on.

The point I’m trying to make here is this…we have many different ways to achieve The Big O, you need to find out what works for you, then relax and enjoy the ride.

One last thing…NO ASS TO MOUTH. That’s just a no. No ASS to anything. You love anal, great!!! Do it last and hit the showers.

 

Have a great weekend!!!

 

 

The Big Girl’s Guide To Foreplay

Everyone knows or believe they know what foreplay is and everyone has an opinion on the purpose of it, the best way to go about it or whether it’s even necessary. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one, so here’s mine: when it comes to sex there is no “one size fits all” and people who think they know how to please ALL women because they managed to make a few girls cum will eventually get knocked off the top Mt. Arrogance and the fall will leave a nasty mark.

Here are a few things you should know:

  • No two pussies are alike, they vary in size, shape, look and what arouses them
  • As a woman ages, what worked in the past, may not work now
  • A large part of arousal occurs in the brain not just her snatch
  • Arousal and orgasm can be affected by factors other than what’s happening in the bedroom. Stress or distress can make it really difficult to get off

Taking all of those things into consideration, you will start to understand the importance of good foreplay. If you are just looking to hump and dump, then what I have to say won’t matter to you; but if you get as much pleasure from giving pleasure as you do receiving it…then this blog is for YOU.

Have you ever heard a woman say that she can’t cum unless (fill in the blank)? The blank is usually some variant of clitoral stimulation be it oral, vibration or fingering. There is a reason for that. The clitoris is the female equivalent of a penis and we need it to be erect to cum. A woman requires two things to achieve pleasure: a well lubricated vagina and an erect clit. A damp pussy isn’t always going to be enough, so if you stop foreplay the minute you feel some wetness, it will take longer for a woman to orgasm – if at all. Even the Man of Steel may not be able to stay hard long enough to pull off that miracle.

This is why foreplay is so important. It increases the likelihood that your woman will be howling at the moon, which is what you want, unless you’re a selfish prick. 😉

The best thing to do is to either make your woman cum during foreplay by either eating her pussy like a starving dog eats Puppy Chow or working her clit with your fingers or a toy until she cums. Make sure she’s a little wet when you start on her clit because diddling a dry clit can seriously fucking hurt.

You don’t have to make her cum during foreplay to get an orgasm during penetration but it’s sure easier that way. There are many different things you can do to get her aroused, if you aren’t sure what to do you can certainly ask her what she likes. You can try doing multiple things that arouse all her senses until she’s ready to burst or she’s begging you to slam your hard cock inside her. Work the erogenous zones, talk dirty to her, use toys, role play or watch some porn – if she’s into that.

The most important thing to remember is DO NOT RUSH. The longer you work the foreplay, the higher her chances are for an orgasm or multiple orgasms.

Good luck and happy fucking!!

 

Don’t Get Stuck On An Adjective…

You are more than just your outward appearance, more than just a physical description of your outer shell and that is all an adjective is…

My blog is written for Big Girls because that is what I am and have always been but most of what I say can be useful to anyone. No matter what you look like on the outside, be it fat, thin, chubby, medium, blond, brunette, redhead, tall, short, average…African-American, White or Latina; we all have insecurities to tackle and that is the driving force behind every post on this blog. The adjectives I use are irrelevant, so don’t get hung up on them.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to accept WHO you are and go from there, especially if you can’t change it.

Can a Big Girl lose the weight? Absolutely. Can you change your hair color? Sure. Can you change your race? Not bloody likely and I’ll be honest, while a big girl CAN lose weight it’s nearly as hard to do that and keep it off as it is to change your ethnicity.  It’s simply much easier to change your attitude and perception and that is my ultimate goal. Love yourself for who and what you are and you will then allow others to love you too.

Yesterday, my husband wrote How to Date a Fat Admirer. In it he gave a short list of rules you should follow to be successful in the realm of love.  As I suspected, there were some readers that took exception to his use of the adjective “fat” to describe the women he was speaking too. The title was self-explanatory, he is and always has been a man who finds BBWs sexy. He’s dated all kinds of women, all shapes and sizes but at the end of the day his preference has always leaned heavily (pun intended) towards us curvy, fat chicks. It’s what he likes and he is not ashamed of it. I certainly appreciate the Hell out it, I’ll tell you that. There has been nothing more refreshing and amazing than being with a man, who, loves the one thing about you that you’ve been told your entire life has made you UNWORTHY of love.

His biggest struggle with dating and loving BBWs is that some of them have made him feel like there was something WRONG with him for being attracted to THEM! Does that sound rational? It isn’t but that’s what happens when years of self-loathing meet up with genuine attraction. It’s like the Clash of the fucking Titans. You want to be loved for who you are and when you meet someone willing to do exactly that – YOU SHAME HIM FOR IT.

I get it. You want to be loved for your mind and not just as a sex object. What makes you so fucking special and different than every other person on the planet? 😉 Human beings start off most relationships the same way – mutual attraction. Seriously, it took me nearly 10 years to realize Brad Pitt could really act…I’d never noticed that before. Sorry Brad, your hotness is distracting.

The reality is that you want to be loved ONLY for who you are on the inside because you’ve been told over and over that who you are on the outside is not worthy of being loved. So, naturally, if you meet someone, who, finds you attractive and sexy…there must be something wrong with them. There isn’t anything wrong with them, they just know what they like and they are confident in that knowledge. Don’t make them feel the same thing you’ve been made to feel your entire life…ashamed for who they are.

Love yourself, accept yourself, change what you don’t like but start with the shit on the inside because being fat is not your problem…it’s a symptom.

Self-loathing is your problem. Fix that and then you’ll know that you are worthy of love and you’ll stop driving people away. Oh and for fuck’s sake – make love with the lights on, your clothes and blankets off!!! How do you expect to achieve all FOUR types of female orgasm if your partner can’t see anything or access anything besides your damn pussy. By God, he won’t be able to eat you out properly, if he can’t see what he’s about! 😉

Think about it…

Big Girl, Big Sex and Masturbation

Oh yes, I went there. I’ve talked about giving head, eating pussy and fucking in general…don’t get the vapors now because I said the “M” word.  Masturbation, jacking off, slap the monkey, diddling, fingering, beat off, shocker! All kinds of ways to describe that big taboo – self pleasure.

Why should a Big Girl or anyone masturbate? Why not? Why should anyone? Because sex is awesome, well it can be with the right partner. It can also suck giant monkey dicks, if you’re with someone who has no idea how to please you. So, it’s very important to know what pleases you and the way you find out is MASTURBATING!!!!

Do you know that there are a lot of people who claim they never have? That’s sad. You need to know what you like and how you like it and fucking a bunch of guys can help but you could be really unlucky and fuck guys who are inexperienced at sex.  Or worse, selfish lovers whose only goal is their own pleasure. When faced with an inexperienced lover who desires to please you…you’re going to need to guide him a bit. If you’ve not gotten yourself off, how are you going to teach him what you need?

There are 4 types of orgasms a woman can have…yes, FOUR!! And Feminists didn’t do shit to get them for us. 😉

  • Clitoral orgasms – the clitoris has 8000 nerve endings so with the right amount of pressure and effort, you can blow your lid pretty quickly just by stimulating that tiny little button (or in some cases a turkey neck).
  • Vaginal orgasms – some people believe in a G-spot others don’t. To achieve an orgasm this way takes longer, so the longer you are being penetrated and thrust into the more likely you will achieve the Big O. Making sure you are lubed up or wet enough is a must. Tilting your pelvis helps to reach the sweet spot. It’s trial and error but oh so worth it when you get there.
  • Blended orgasms – these occur when you are stimulating both the clit and the vagina. This is the MOST powerful orgasm and when you get one of these, you’ll likely not be able to walk right away from all that leg shaking.
  • Multiple orgasms – these happen one after the other pretty quickly. Not everyone can withstand the constant stimulation but those who can…holy shit!

Here are some tips for self pleasure that you can try to get yourself off:

  1. Set the mood – bubble bath, candles in the bedroom, whatever gives your senses pleasure
  2. Use lube – a slippery surface makes it more pleasurable and works faster to achieving the Big O.
  3. Go slow and explore your entire body
  4. Sex toys are a handy tool for self pleasure. 😉
  5. Find your clitoris and focus attention here – lots of attention with finger or some buzzing toy. 😉
  6. Breast stimulation is a nice added bonus
  7. Spend some time finding your G-spot
  8. Try for that blended orgasm by working both clit and G-spot simultaneously
  9. Porn…yep, watch some porn
  10. Fantasize about something while seeking your pleasure…always a nice touch

Give some of these a try and even if you are a professional twat tickler, have you managed to get all FOUR types of orgasms before? Why not see if you can?

Happy Hump Day!!!!!!!!