Tag Archive | sexy

Dealing With Distance in Relationships

There are many types of distances you can have in a relationship emotional, physical, philosophical, and etc.

I’m going to talk about physical distance and how to shorten it. There are a few reasons why you and your mate have a distance between you: you live in different states, went on a vacation, business trip, you attend different colleges/universities and so on. Whatever the reason, there are many things you can do to keep the relationship alive and thriving.


First, set clear boundaries of what is and is not acceptable to you. Second, be completely honest with each other. Third, keep things smoking hot & sexy and last but not least… communication.


The key to maintaining a good relationship is open, honest, and healthy communication. Once that is in place, you are in a good starting position for maintaining your relationship when dealing with a separation. If you want to learn how to better communicate with your mate (and who doesn’t?) read this article: 9 Steps to Better Communication Today

From the linked article….

The most popular myth about communication in relationships is that since you talk to your partner, you’re automatically communicating. While talking to your partner is indeed a form of communication, if it’s primarily about everyday, “surfacey” topics (“How were the kids?” “How was work?” “How’s your mother?”), you’re not really communicating about the important stuff. This article is primarily about how to talk in a more open and rewarding manner with your significant other.

Communication either makes or breaks most relationships. You can improve your relationship today, right now, by putting into practice some of these tips for improving the communication in your relationship.

If you want to learn more, click that link and learn steps on honing that skill. I will give you some tips on how to hone another skill.

Keeping your relationship smokin’ hot is just as important as good communication. So, what can you do when you two are apart for extended periods of time?

Pull out all the stops and start with these:

Phone Sex – whether or not you engage in actual masturbation is up to you but why fake it when the real thing is so much sexier to listen to…

Sexy chats on skype or other IM tools just a variation on phone sex but this is something you can do pretty much anywhere. Though the blushes could give you away if you’re in public. 😉

Send erotic pictures…that requires no explanation

Write erotic stories with you and your mate as the lead characters. I like this one because it allows you to be more risky and creative than you might be in real life. We all have hidden fantasies and this is a good way to let those slip out.

Whatever you chose to do, do NOT let a day go by, without letting them know why, that you are not communicating!!! Lack of communication breeds insecurity and insecurity is a relationship death blow. Make sure they know that you want them, that you are thinking of them always and that they are in your blood. They will do the same and your relationship will get stronger despite any time spent apart.

Now get your ass out there and be sexy!

Talk to you later, lovers. 😉

Weight Obsessing and Why It Sucks

I, like most women, have been obsessing about my weight for the majority of my life. It started for me around the age of 10, yes 10. That was the age when I was made aware by others that I wasn’t skinny.  I was tall and played sports, so I was muscular. My weight was higher than the other girls who just played barbies but looking back – I was definitely not fat.  Naturally, I dieted like crazy and basically set into motion a lifelong struggle with my weight because of that constant yoyo dieting.

It is a miserable existence to be so obsessed with your weight. I look back and think of all the great things I said “no” to because of my weight, which wasn’t even bad. Weight became the only thing that mattered to the exclusion of all else. I wouldn’t go places because I worried that I looked too fat, I wouldn’t eat at parties, even if I was starving, because I was afraid people would judge me.  A big chunk of my life was unhappy because I was worried about my weight.  I’m certain that I am not alone in this. I’d wager that a large portion of the population, here in the U.S., has done the same thing to themselves. I see people still doing it.

I decided that enough was enough. I’ll never be skinny, trust me I’ve tried, it’s not my body type. I’m an hourglass and no matter how small I get my waistline, I’m destined to always have a big ass, thicker legs and a big rack on top. So, I chose to embrace it, rather than damn the fates and continuing to limit my existence to what will and won’t affect my weight. Wanna guess what happened?

I became happy in my skin. If I eat too much my pants get snug, when I don’t they get looser. I have no clue how much I weigh but when I look in the mirror, I like what I see and that is all that matters! I’m a sexy bitch and I’m really good with that. I get plenty of winks and approving glances from men (and some women as well). Not that I need those cat calls and smiles but it reaffirmed for me that I was right to stop obsessing so much.

We have only one life to live, do you really want to spend it denying yourself every single little pleasure that life has to offer?

Fake It Till You Make It

No, not orgasms!! Never fake those…that’s a bad fucking habit and yes, I mean that LITERALLY. You start faking orgasms then you will be forever faking them. Sex without orgasms is like pasta with sauce, it’ll do in a pinch but eh, I’d rather not bother. Never treat sex like that, it’s simply way too amazing to treat so blah.

I’m talking about self confidence.  When you are insecure, it shows in everything you do. You walk with your head kinda down, shoulders kinda slumped, and you dress kinda “meh”…  You present a “meh” image and you you get treated like the color beige, who the fuck gets excited by the color beige? Yeah, nobody!!!

What do you do? You hate your body, you hate your hair, you hate your face…you are positively beastly! When you think that way, you look that way and people see you that way. You want people to see you better? That starts with you. Treat yourself the way you’d treat a sweet child or a puppy for you I like puppies better than kid peeps. Smile, show yourself some kindness and if you must pretend then do so. Pretend you are the best looking thing on the planet.  Choose to change one single thing about yourself a week. Start with something easy, this week smile. Smile all day, when you’re alone, when you’re out and about, when you’re in the shower…smile, smile, smile! Watch how a simple smile changes how you start feeling and how people start responding. Next week smile and walk with your head held high.  The week after that smile, head held high and now shoulders back and walk straight. The week after that change your hair, keep smiling and keep walking with your head up and shoulders back. Next buy some sexy clothes and wear them with your sexy hair, continue smiling and keep walking with your head up and shoulders back. And so on…

See what I’m doing here? It’s like an exercise program that doesn’t make you sweaty. Self confidence is something that none of us is born with…it’s developed, like muscles (though we are born with those…don’t get distracted by semantics). 😉 Develop a strong sense of self and project it onto the world, it will make it much harder to be hurt by mean comments and looks if you know your own value.

Give it a try and fake it, until you make it!!!!

Big Girls, Big Mistakes…Fatshion

Are you a fat girl who wears big, blousy tops or dresses to hide your rolls? Do you wear oversized t-shirts, PJ pants, huge sweatshirts and sweatpants?


You are making a HUGE mistake, literally. Over-sized clothing does two very bad things:

  1.  They make you look BIGGER than you are.
  2.  They make you look asexual.

You think you’re hiding your fat, you are covering up those annoying and hateful rolls, the backfat, etc… You’re not though and worse you’re making yourself look less womanly because big, loose, boxy clothes make you look like you have no shape at all….and no shape is NOT attractive.  No shape is LESS attractive than what you think you’re hiding. Trust me.  You want to wear clothing that fits, worry less about hiding your rolls than not. Sexy, well fitted clothing is a big plus to feeling good about yourself.

Fat Girl Yes!!

BigSexy notshy


Fat Girl No!!!!

fatboxing wal_mart_32


It’s not about how big you are, it’s about seeing yourself the way you want to be seen. Pretty clothes, pretty hair and some make up do wonders for self confidence. How can you feel good about who you are if you spend so much time hiding from it?

Dress yourself to show off your best assets, to be sexy for yourself…channel your inner Tess Munster, not a sloppy Walmart patron.




Middle Aged BBW’s Are A Hot Commodity!

Have you been feeling down about being chubby and getting older? Younger chicks trying to make you feel like shit because you’re “past your prime”? Are those lonely, bitter single chicks taking cheap shots at your age? Then I’ve got some great news for you!!! Stop feeling bad about yourself and listen up!

Of all the genres and sub-genres available in the Porn industry and there are a lot of them,  upwards of a 100 or more different types, the top 7 include: MILF and BBW. That’s riiiight!!! Mommies (#4) and Fat Chicks (#6) ranked in the Top 7 most popular of ALL!!! BDSM came in at #7, take that 50 Shades readers!!  These stats are just hardcore porn…add in the soft core, pinup variety and you’ll start to notice a pattern.  BBWs and SSBBWs are pretty popular, just search youtube for sexy BBW or SSBBW and see how many views these big ladies are getting, it’s a ton! (pun intended)

The popularity of fat chicks and MILFs in porn and in soft core video offerings is growing, YES GROWING,  despite the fact that society thinks us fat chicks should be starved to thinness. Society tells us we are bad, fat, lazy, without discipline, worthless, unattractive and less deserving of pretty much everything and yet all over the world MEN WANT TO FUCK US older, fat chicks more than ever!

So, the next time you are feeling bad because you’ve packed on the weight and your Mom jeans have a muffin top, take heart…it’s highly likely that someone who just saw you and your muffin top popped a woody! Hold that chubby head up high and smile, you sexy bitch!


Happy Sunday!






Why So Much Sex?

Someone asked me why I talk about sex so much.  I had about a half dozen answers that popped in my head before I responded. These are those thoughts:

  1. Because I like to have sex
  2. Because most people like to have sex
  3. Because I’m a grown woman and I can talk about what I want
  4. Because sharing recipes is for Pinterest and Facebook
  5. I really, really like sex (sorry sex on the brain)
  6. Why shouldn’t I?

The reason I talk about sex so much is because as a woman who has been a BBW for most of her adult life, I’ve struggled with wanting sex and not believing anyone would want to have sex with me. Low self esteem is a killer for BBWs and SSBBWs and many of us miss opportunity after sexy opportunity to get laid because of it. I want to help other women change that so they can enjoy a wonderful and healthy sex life.  One way to do that is to blog about sex and things you can do to improve your sex life.

It’s no fun being the girl that guys say they will fuck because there are no other options in the bar that night. Don’t believe you deserve to be THAT girl. Low self esteem allows these losers to prey on women and those women think that’s all they’re going to get so they allow themselves to be used as a last minute one night stand.  I want Big Girls to know and believe that they are beautiful, sexy women and that men do want them and would be proud to be seen with them.

The best way for me to get the message out is to talk about my life, my past and my present. My present includes a lot of sex because I found a man that loves me and finds me to be both beautiful and sexy. He adores my body… my big, curvy and yes, fat… body. How can I make it clear to other women like me, if I don’t talk about it? People can say whatever platitudes they want but I have experience and that experience is what gives hope.  I mean who would you rather take advice from: the chick who tells you that you’d be so pretty if or the fat chick who gets laid 3 times a day by her sexy husband and tells you that YOU ARE ALREADY HOT and men want you?

I didn’t have anyone tell me that there were men who loved big, curvy women 20+ years ago when I needed to hear it. There also weren’t as many guys who admitted it as freely as they do now…because society shamed them too.

That’s why I talk about sex and those other reasons I listed.  Sex is great and we need to shed the shame and enjoy it!



Curvy is the New Sexy

Big girls didn’t used to have many options when it came to clothes. We definitely have them now.  My absolute favorite place to shop for clothes – from casual to dressy and everywhere in between is Torrid. They have great clothes that fit well as well as sexy lingerie. The only issue I have with the company is that they do not have any bras beyond DDD. Many of us big girls have some serious boobage and a Triple D ain’t gonna cut it. Luckily, there are plenty of sites online that have bigger cup sizes, good support and are still sexy. I hate an ugly bra, it makes me feel gross.

Check out Curvy N Beautiful and Hips and Curves for sexy and fun choices to keep feeling like the hot, curvy beauty you know you are…